Fevered Brain
by SophieSaulie
Summary: While on a botched mission to Croatia, Billy falls victim to a life threatening illness and Adele must keep him safe and alive. No Adele/Billy shipping. Not a deathfic.


**Fevered Brain**

Billy and Adele were holed up in an abandoned cottage house. It had been a mission gone completely awry.

Billy had been stricken with a virulent flu that was making the rounds while they were on assignment in Croatia. He had been separated from Michael, Casey and Rick because of being quarantined. Word had gotten to Adele who had been coordinating operations at the Embassy that their covers had been compromised, but that they couldn't get to Billy without being captured. Adele suggested that a woman would be less conspicuous than three men so she went in disguised as a nurse. Billy had been well enough to walk on his own, but she suggested again that being moved by a gurney might attract even less attention. Billy had been duly impressed by her acumen and had agreed. She then pulled a sheet over him. Corpses were even less likely to attract curious looks.

Michael, Casey and Rick had been waiting by an ambulance as they had planned. They had just gotten Billy into the bus when the guards looking for them had recognized them. They rushed into it, bullets flying and ricocheting around them. Rick got behind the wheel, having already claimed on a previous mission that he had the proper license, as if that fact mattered while they were dodging gunfire. Casey sat shotgun while Michael and Adele were in back with Billy. They sped off at breakneck speed to gain as much distance as they could. They had decided on getting to the outskirts of town, into the smaller villages, then contact Fay to get air support out.

Michael's knowledge and pre-med background allowed him to recognize the various medications and equipment in the ambulance. Adele sat back impressed as he checked Billy's temperature and other vitals. Billy was moaning both from fever and from pain. Michael's expression creased with concern.

"What is it?" Adele asked.

"His fever's spiking. We have to get him somewhere so that he can rest. There's no cure for the flu, but this strain could become fatal if we don't get him somewhere to rest and keep his immune system from becoming compromised. He's not keeping down food and if he becomes dehydrated, that will be –"

"The beginning of the end for ol' Billy Collins, born and bruised in North Edinburgh," Billy finished with a pained smile, partly from a developing delirium, but coherent enough to understand the risks.

Adele wore a worried expression, but it was broken by the sound of a large pop then the bus lurching to the left. She and Michael held on as the truck swung wildly. Rick tried to get it under control, but barely managed to keep it from flipping.

Rick continued to try to control the bus, but knew that they couldn't stay on the road for much longer. They had managed to reach the outskirts of the city and into the barren countryside.

Michael grabbed as many supplies as he could and handed them to Adele.

"We have to get you and Billy away from here and somewhere safe. We'll take the bus and distract the police from your location. We'll use the satellite phone to contact Fay and get air support out of here as soon as we can. Take the syringes. They are painkillers and sedatives in case Billy needs them. He'll get worse before he gets better. Keep him hydrated, use the saline if he starts to refuse or can't keep water down."

Adele nodded. She understood that though she was the Deputy Director, in a mission situation, Michael was the knowledgeable one and she took his orders patiently and with the due respect warranted.

"Billy! Can you walk?" Michael asked.

Billy squeezed his eyes closed in pain and to keep nausea at bay as much as he could.

"Yeh, yeh. No offense to Rick's driving skills, but I think I'll feel better once I'm out of this weaving truck."

"Hey, you try to keep control in a blow out!" Rick protested, still trying to maintain the bus upright.

"There's an abandoned cottage up ahead," Casey said. "We'll drop you off there. I see a well there which should give you potable water."

"Heading there now," Rick said as he maneuvered the truck.

Michael instructed Adele on the drugs and how to administer them. He also gave her a temporal scanner thermometer among other things that he could get from the ambulance.

They felt the truck jerk to a stop and Michael opened the back doors. Casey was already there waiting.

"We don't have much time, let's get Billy in and we'll take off from here," Casey suggested with authority.

Michael and Casey hoisted Billy onto their shoulders and helped him through the door. Rick went over to Adele.

"We'll be right back, I promise," he assured with a gentle kiss. "I'm sorry we got you into this."

"Don't be. I wanted to help. We couldn't leave Billy behind," Adele said.

Rick smiled with pride.

"Okay, let's go!" Michael commanded.

"I love you," Rick said as he ran off.

She didn't get a chance to utter it back, but she knew that he knew that she loved him.

Michael stopped for a second.

"He's lying on a makeshift bed in there. It looks safe. Stay put. Billy has his gun. Take this and the clips," Michael said as he handed Adele his gun and clips.

"What about you?"

"We have ammunition and the human weapon, we'll be okay," he smiled. "We'll come back for you as soon as we can. Anyone tries to get to you, shoot first and ask questions later. There are no allies here," he said. "Unless it's us."

Adele smiled and nodded.

"Take care of him," Michael said with more emotion than he realized. "Thanks for helping us, for helping him."

She nodded again and and he ran off to join the the others.

Adele headed back into the cottage. She heard retching sounds and could only feel sympathy. She went over to Billy.

He looked up embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," he said as he coughed.

She smiled.

"Don't be. I've been there. Rest. I'm going to get water from the well."

"Thank you," Billy said, his exhaustion evident in the tone of his voice.

She smiled again. She went to the well and pulled up a bucket full of water. It looked clean. She brought it in and placed it onto the rustic kitchen table. She brought in the ladle as well.

Billy watched her handle their situation and couldn't help his admiration for someone everyone had misjudged as only beautiful and had questioned her ability to lead, more Gucci than grunt work. He delighted in discovering that she was much, much more than her wardrobe and well coiffed hairstyle.

"I'll come over there," he said as he tried to sit up, grimacing with pain.

"Stay put, Operative Collins. I'm not above serving water, just don't get used to it," she teased.

"Yes, M'Lady, far be it from me to question your command," he said, relieved in actuality that she had insisted he stay put. His chivalry may be alive and well, but his body was far from being able to carry out the deeds however well intentioned he had wanted to be.

She brought the ladle of water over and brought it to his lips. He drank slowly, dizziness competing with his thirst. He stopped when he couldn't keep it at bay any longer. He lay back hoping not to lose consciousness and leave her unprotected. Those instincts were battling with his potentially incapacitating illness. He had to make sure that no harm come to her because Rick loved her and in some ways, much more than that. He unholstered his gun and checked it to make sure it was armed and that the safety was off. He cocked the first bullet into the chamber and kept it at his side, his finger posed at the trigger. Even at his weakest, he could straight arm the gun and shoot it.

She placed the ladle back into the bucket and followed the same procedure with the gun Michael had given her.

Billy's admiration for her only grew. He had worked with many women in the Agency and though many of them were more than capable of handling themselves, there was a hardened edge to most of them. Either borne from an ambition to prove themselves better than their male counterparts or perhaps even more personal, to channel their anger towards men through the work. He had never gotten either impression with Adele. She was just as comfortable in her ability to switch on the field training they all had to accomplish as she was with her femininity and administrative skills. It was a powerful and admirable combination.

She pulled out a scarf from her purse, unable to find any sanitary pieces of cloth in the cottage and soaked it in the cool water. She wrung it out and placed it onto Billy's forehead. He exhaled a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry you have been saddled with babysitting duties. I'm afraid I'm a bit of burden."

Adele smiled.

"Hardly a burden, Billy. You didn't ask to get sick. It's all right."

Billy then curled and shivered both from pain and chills.

"Billy? Are you all right?"

"Been better I have to admit, but I'm holding up for now."

"Michael gave me some medications and how to administer them so –"

Billy shook his head.

"Best save them for when things get worse. I can endure until then." 

She gazed at how badly Billy was convulsing and wondered how he could believe he wasn't already there.

"All right, but you have to tell me when it becomes too much. This is one area where being a hero not only is unnecessary, but really overrated."

Billy smiled. "Understood."

The spasms released and he took in deep breaths as well as uncurled, his body relaxing. Adele took back the cloth to soak it again and was shocked at how warm it felt.

"I need to take your temperature."

Billy nodded. She aimed the temporal scanner across his forehead and the number was unsettling. 103.8.

"By the look on your face, I suspect it's not good."

"It's not. You've already gone up a degree since Michael took it in the ambulance."

"Ah, thought it felt a little warm in here and given that Croatian winters are usually cold, this can't bode well."

Adele couldn't help but smile. Billy had a remarkable way of turning adversity into an opportunity to make light of a situation. Rick had told her that and he had also suspected it was Billy's way of making whoever he was with feel better so she knew that Billy was extending the same courtesy to her.

She refreshed the cold compress and placed it back on his forehead.

"So, tell me about you and young Rick. Seems all is going well," Billy said tiredly.

Adele smiled.

"Yes, it is going rather well," she blushed and it brought a wistful tug to Billy's heart.

"You seem surprised."

"Well, of the two of us, Rick is the eternal optimist."

"Aye, that is true. Refreshing in the suspicion riddled work we do."

"He actually researched the Code of Conduct handbook to determine if we could date. I think he wanted to make sure that I didn't come up with some excuse."

Billy smiled.

"It sounds like something our Rick would do. Clearly he was a man on a mission, no pun intended," Billy said as he raised an eyebrow in mischievousness.

He closed his eyes in pain and tried to breath through it. Once it passed, he looked at Adele and smiled.

"He's a lucky man."

Adele blushed again.

She didn't consider herself someone who was easily embarrassed or charmed, but Billy's disarming style was smooth and she also never felt as if he was being insincere. He had nothing to gain from acting charming towards her other than to keep his skills honed. If the latter, she had to admit that Billy didn't need the practice. She could tell that it came easily for him.

"Thank you."

Billy smiled. He so enjoyed making women blush. It was one of the satisfying parts of his skill set. It was as much a pleasure for him to draw out the shyness in a woman than it was for the woman who was the benefactor of his compliments.

If he had learned anything, it was that even intelligent women enjoyed being recognized for more than just their brilliant minds. Also, that most women didn't realize the power they yielded in matters of flirtation and in the pursuit and conquest of a man's affections. They held men's fates in the very words they spoke whether it be something matter of fact or saying I love you.

Adele was confident and knew what her assets were, but she, too, enjoyed recognition from a man who appreciated all the work involved in becoming beautiful. It delighted him that much more to bring out her demureness. Rick had clearly surrendered to her influence. A man would be a fool not to allow himself to fall for her.

Billy's breathing took on a struggling exhaustion that worried her. She got another ladle of water and brought it over. The thought of drinking it wasn't attractive, but he tried for Adele's sake. A couple of gulps and he found the nausea returning and he didn't have the strength to fight it back. He turned and expelled the water and it was his turn to feel embarrassed.

"I'm...so...sorry," he gasped and coughed.

"It's all right, Billy. I'm more worried that we have to get more fluids into you. She grabbed one of the IV bags that Michael gave her along with tubing and a way to start an IV line.

"I'm sorry, but I have to start an IV with the saline bag. Can you lay back?"

Billy nodded then splayed himself as flat and straight as he could. It wasn't difficult because he felt too weak to move into any other position other than lying down. He also wouldn't resist anything she would do to him, but that was as much from trust as it was being near incapacitated.

"If I hurt you, I'm sorry -"

"You'll be fine. I trust you. Don't worry yourself. As I said, I'm sorry to have to put you through this."

"Don't be. You need to live. I won't let you get dehydrated. I had a friend..." she trailed off. "I won't let that happen to you."

Billy observed her determination and detected perhaps a touch of anguish on her face. He understood the former, but was curious about the latter.

"I know you won't," he said with drained confidence.

As he watched her set up the IV, placing the bag underneath him to keep the saline flowing into him, he noticed an expertise.

"It seems you have underestimated your abilities."

She smiled shyly.

"Before I joined the CIA…another lifetime ago it seems, I was considering becoming a nurse, but I was doing it for all the wrong reasons."

Billy noted the same touch of anguish on her face and admitted to being intrigued by what or who could have caused her such pain.

"I can't imagine a wrong reason for wanting to help people. It seems suited to you, your compassion reason enough to me."

She smiled again.

"I was doing it out of frustration, maybe even with a bit of revenge," she said shaking her head.

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

She pondered whether to share that painful part of her past. She hadn't even told Rick about it, mostly because a situation had never presented itself to reveal it, but now, with Billy facing dehydration, she thought maybe it was time to share it and hopefully place it fully in her past.

Billy watched her struggle with whether to talk about her past and he felt he should relieve her of any obligation she felt.

"You needn't feel you have to tell me anything. I respect you too much to pry into your private life. It's not my place. Some secrets should remain as such."

Billy closed his eyes in weariness and Adele found herself moved by the consideration he was giving her. Suddenly she felt the need to talk about it.

"He was my boyfriend. I was young, too ambitious. He was older and less ambitious. No two people were more different. His idea of thrills was hiking, mountain climbing, taking risks…" she said as she swallowed back her emotions.

It surprised her how recalling it so many years later could still make her feel overwhelmed with a sense of loss.

Billy opened his eyes and gave her his full attention, knowing that her decision to share something clearly painful to her deserved that courtesy.

"One day, he was hiking alone on one of the hottest days of the year…we argued about why he had to do it. He accused me of being clingy and possessive and left angry..." she said, recrimination in her voice. "He hadn't anticipated how much water he'd need for the trek…he died of dehydration."

Billy felt Adele's sorrow and there was guilt as well.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Adele -" he said sympathetically.

"He was stupid and irresponsible!" She blurted out angrily. "And it was my fault!"

Billy was moved by her loss and her anger. He felt a little of it himself. Why would anyone do something so careless and more importantly, why would anyone hurt someone like her that way, to be so ungrateful for the gift of her presence as to imperil his life?

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for," she said as she tried to regain her composure.

"Not at all. You have nothing to be sorry for and it wasn't your fault, he was acting like a git."

"Maybe, but the last thing we did was argue and his mind wasn't where it should have been. I caused him to leave without the proper provisions..."

Adele crumbled in tears and Billy wanted nothing more than to thrash her man, dead or not, for causing her such pain and unnecessary guilt.

"Adele, you mustn't blame yourself and you can't possibly hold yourself responsible for his irresponsible behavior. I know the woman you are and you could never hurt anyone. Men and women argue, disagree, but in the end, we are all masters of our own destinies. It's tragic what happened, yes, but you weren't responsible. I'm as sure of that as I am of the loving woman you are. If you don't mind me saying, he was a fool to risk his life that way knowing he had someone who loved him, who put his safety as paramount and whom he would hurt irrevocably by his careless actions," Billy said, the strength of the conviction stronger than he had intended. "It is that fact, that concern and importance you place on safety that makes you a far better leader than Higgins could ever be."

Adele gazed at Billy, her eyes still filled with tears then smiled.

"Thank you for saying that…and I know deep down that I couldn't have saved him. I tried becoming a nurse thinking that if I couldn't save him, maybe I could save someone else, but it wasn't who I was and I have to be honest with myself. It was my ambition that drove him away in the end, to get away from me…"

"Nonsense! It's your ambition, which is less about ego and more about your merits, which makes you vivacious. I know that Rick feels that way as well."

Her expression then fell a bit.

"Maybe I'm doing him a disservice too by entering into this relationship with my ambition as it is…there's another reason why I can't seem to give fully to the relationship…"

"You're afraid that Rick will get killed and leave you," Billy finished for her, knowing it immediately.

She nodded.

"I'm a coward."

"Rubbish, you lost someone you loved dearly and to make things worse, he died foolishly and recklessly. It's understandable why you would fear entering yet another potentially risky relationship and while I can't allay your fears about Rick completely, I would be ill-advised to do so because you know the truth about the work, I can tell you that he will never be reckless because he knows he has you to consider and unlike your other man, Rick has us. We would die first before any harm would come to him. Consider that a personal promise from me."

Adele was touched by Billy's kindness towards her and amazingly just his assurance made her feel more confident about entering into her relationship with Rick with her whole heart.

"Thank you," she softly said.

Billy nodded. He had meant the promise, but a small selfish part of him had wished he were in Rick's shoes.

Billy had finally fallen asleep, but the rest was fitful at best. Adele watched with helpless sympathy as she continued to keep a cold compress on him, his body quivering with the cool relief, but his breathing was erratic, occasionally he would moan in pain. She checked his temperature, her dismay growing.

104.6.

The fever wasn't abating. She had decided to insert a syringe into another ampule of medication. She measured it into the syringe and expressed it into his IV line. She had to hope it would help.

Billy began to stir and when he opened his eyes, Adele could see that he wasn't recognizing her.

"Forgive me, lass, for my rude inquiry, but I'm afraid I don't know who you are or where I am. I suspect feeling as deathly ill as I am, might explain it," he said, his brogue seemingly thicker.

Billy was having trouble taking in breaths and he was sweating profusely.

"Don't apologize. You have a very high fever. I'm Adele. Do you remember me now?"

Billy licked his dry lips and his expression showed signs of struggle as he tried to remember her. Her heart ached for his suffering. Adele went over and got more water and fed it slowly to him then refreshed the compress. She laid it on his forehead again and he stilled with the soothing effects of it.

"I'm sorry…I don't, but only illness could wipe out the memory," Billy smiled.

Adele just smiled in return. It was astonishing to her how Billy could still remain charming feeling so ill.

"Do you know where Carson or Michael are?"

Adele stiffened. The fever was taking its toll on his mind and it only brought more concern. He needed more help than she could give him. She felt the same failure she had felt when her boyfriend had died. She couldn't be there for him, but she wasn't doing any better for Billy as well.

"They're on their way with air support to get you to a proper hospital," she said, electing to keep him calm by going along with his timeline.

He recognized her uniform and smiled.

"Ah, I see you are an angel of mercy. How did you end up taking care of a poor sod like me, aye?" He smiled.

"I wanted to make sure that you got care until rescue arrived," Adele said truthfully.

Billy blinked lazily.

"I thank you for your kind ministrations."

"I'm afraid I'm not helping very much. You really need to get to a hospital," Adele admitted sadly.

Billy looked down and saw her hand. He grasped it into his and squeezed weakly.

"I know you're doing all you can and I appreciate it…" Billy reassured then he jerked with pain. "Bloody hell."

She felt him squeeze her hand even harder and watched him curl into himself. He tried to let go, not wanting to harm her, but she held on, using her other hand to rub his back as he moaned and grunted.

"I'm sorry," he muttered through the pain.

"Don't be. It's all right. I'm here."

Adele felt complete and utter helplessness. She had to hope that the rest of them would get back soon. She didn't know how long Billy could withstand the ravages of the fever. Despite her best efforts, she wasn't a nurse and even if she was, she didn't have enough supplies, not to mention a sterile environment, to help him.

After a few minutes, Billy had seemingly lapsed back into merciful sleep. She had decided that she would get more fresh water from the well while he slept.

She walked out of the cottage and over to it, lowered the bucket and then pulled up more water. It was then that she heard the cock of a gun. She looked up and spied two armed men. From the dossiers she had read, these were the Russian agents who were pursuing the ODS. She feared less for herself than for Billy.

"Don't move," said a tall, bulky man, clearly proclaiming himself the leader, his accent thick and menacing.

She complied.

"Where is everyone else?"

"I don't know –"

"DON'T play games with me, missy. I know they are here!" He yelled.

**ChaosChaosChaos**

Billy stirred awake, hearing a loud voice. He looked around and couldn't find Adele. Despite being physically compromised and his instincts dulled by the illness ravaging his body, he sensed that something was wrong. He heard talking outside and discerned the voice to be male with a thick Russian accent. Adrenaline pumped into his body, knowing that he had to overcome his infirmities to rescue Adele. He found his gun, still near his left hand. He checked to make sure it was armed. He then looked down at his arm and painfully pulled out the IV that Adele had been so attentive at inserting. Dizziness and cramping muscle pain assaulted him and he had to pant to keep from moaning and giving himself away. He took initially tentative steps towards the door, but even feeling weak, he managed to guide himself there, propping himself up on every available thing in the room that he could.

He got to the door and rested for a second. He peeked through the front window and saw a man pulling at Adele's hair, threatening her, but he also watched her defiantly remain silent against it. She was planning to die protecting him and the anger at the thought of her in such danger because of him poured into his veins, bolstering his waning strength.

He would not let her die because of him.

He wasn't worth it, wasn't worth a tenth of her value.

He quietly stepped through the door and clung as closely to the frame as much as possible to avoid detection then he took pleasure at aiming for the man's head.

**ChaosChaosChaos**

Adele stood her ground and was rebelliously silent.

"I see, so we are going to play name, rank and serial number, aye? I think you watch too many movies."

She remained silent. The man spoke in Russian to his cohort and that man went over to clearly search her. She closed her eyes tight and stiffened with revulsion. He disarmed her of the gun Michael had given her and walked away. He handed it to the leader who then pocketed it.

The leader then walked over, a greasy and lecherous smile on his face. Adele struggled to maintain her composure as she suspected what was on the man's mind. No matter what he did to her, she would not compromise Billy.

"You are strong woman. Not afraid. I admire that, but unless you tell me where the others are, I will promise you that we will apply measures to make you tell us. Are they worth dying for?"

She spat in his face as an answer hoping that if she were going to die, it would come from a swift reaction of rage stemming from her defiance. An expression of anger yet also of lust transformed onto his face and she knew that she wasn't going to survive. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back. His breath was of stale liquor, cigarettes, and rotting meat from some long ago meal. He inched closer to kiss her when a shot rang out.

She screamed, startled.

She watched as a look of open-eyed surprise replaced the one of debauchery that was there before on the man's face. He then let her go and collapsed to the ground, eyes still wide open, a trickle of blood from a hole in his temple cascaded down the side of his face. Another shot rang out and the man's friend was gone as well. She looked over and saw Billy, leaning against the front door, gun dropped, breathing heavily and slowly sliding to the ground, groaning all the while.

Her eyes were filled with tears of both relief and concern for Billy. She ran over and caught him before he was down on his knees. She helped him back to his makeshift bed. Once lying on it, he turned away from her to wretch and cough. When he turned back, he looked deathly and it scared her.

"Thank you for saving my life," she said tearfully.

He smiled shakily.

"N…no harm…s…shall ever come to you…long as I can…draw breath…ragged as it may be," Billy said, his breathing now a wet wheeze.

Adele giggled.

"Rick loves you…and needs you and you him…" Billy said swallowing every breath. "Won't let anything destroy that."

She was happy to realize that he had seemed to be back in the present, but he looked so tired and so weak. It amazed her that he was able to get up and save her. Her gratitude was overwhelming, but her worry for him began to override that. Billy then closed his eyes again, falling back into sleep.

**ChaosChaosChaos**

Billy seemed to be getting worse. Adele reattached his IV, which he had torn out to get to her to save her. She then injected more medication into his IV for his fever. She refreshed the compress over and over again every time it got too warm.

Billy moaned and his body writhed with pain as if there wasn't a position that could provide him comfort. Adele tried to apply her own comfort by stroking his face and talking to him. It seemed to help for small increments, but then pain would rebel back.

Delirium was in full swing as he mumbled words through labored breathing; a sentence or two would filter through occasionally, but she couldn't always get context.

Some were words from memories like with his mother. Nothing intelligible, but the soft whimpering had her surmising he was recalling childhood memories.

Slowly, Billy awoke again, opened his eyes and found his gaze locking onto hers. He managed a trembling smile. The chills were getting worse and he was panting out breaths, barely catching enough to inhale before pain drove it all out again in an exhale, stealing it from his straining lungs. All Adele could do was hold him and hope her body heat would help in any little way. She was scared, as scared of losing him, as she would have felt if Rick were in her arms and that had surprised her.

"Adele?" he called out.

"Yes, I'm here. Go back to sleep. I'm not going anywhere."

"I fear...that the lads...won't make it back in time…" Billy said meekly, practical, without recrimination.

"Don't even say that, Billy. They will, I know it. Just rest so that when they get here, you'll be ready to move," she insisted.

Billy groaned.

"I n...need to…say something…in case I -" he said as he stiffened in pain again.

His groan, this time, sounded frustrated as if he were growing impatient and wishing the pain would end once and for all, the fight seeping away from him, but not soon enough for him to gain release and relief.

Adele's fear only grew. Billy was not one for surrendering and she didn't want him to concede the battle.

"No, no, it can wait," she said, fearing that once he expressed whatever he needed to, he would let go, give up.

"I fear that it can't…" he said. "I need to tell you this…"

Adele didn't protest, telling Billy he could go on.

"I need to tell ya...that I love ya…I have for awhile…now," Billy said, trying to smile, but only mustering a trembling curl at the corner of his mouth. "You are a wonderful woman, strong, compassionate never let anyone tell you different."

Adele felt her heart breaking.

"I…I would never harm your relationship with Rick and believe he's the better man, that you deserve better than what I could ever offer ya…nor am I asking for anything from ya, but I can't die without telling ya…that you restored my faith in love, that you freed my heart from the box I've kept it in for so long."

"Billy…" Adele said, crying over his words. "Please…"

"L…love Rick with all your heart...as I know he loves you…I'll know then that my love for you both will live on in ya."

Billy cringed, groaned then squeezed her hand. He fell back to sleep and all Adele could think of was that Michael, Casey and Rick had to get back soon because she didn't want him to die and for more reasons than just the obvious one.

Though she didn't love him in the same way that he did her, selfishly, it hurt her to think that loving her unrequitedly might taint the friendship between him and Rick and if she were to be honest, that it would make him approach her with trepidation. She cared about him more than she could ever express to him. He had saved her life, respected her abilities as a leader and had regarded her with respect both professionally and personally.

She didn't want that to end nor have an uncomfortable distance between them.

She also hoped that he was wrong, that he wouldn't die as he thought he would.

She finally had fallen asleep, too exhausted to keep it at bay, Billy cradled in her arms.

When she awoke later, something was different, Billy was still and cold fear iced up through her own body at first, but something else was cooler.

Billy.

She slowly extricated herself from him so as to not wake him. She took the temporal scanner to check his temperature.

103.

It had dropped. It had finally broken. She checked his pulse and though it was weak, it was there. His breathing wasn't laboring as much anymore as well.

An overwhelming sense of relief hit her. She sat down in a nearby chair and heaved a sigh.

"Thank you, Billy, for saving my life, for not dying. Rick's not the only one who needs you. I do too."'

**ChaosChaosChaos**

Adele heard the helicopter. Billy was still unconscious, but the fever had dropped to 101 and he seemed to be breathing better.

When they had touched down, Michael, Casey and Rick were worried about the dead bodies they had found, recognizing them as the Russians who had been after them. Rick rushed towards the cottage and met Adele at the door as she was exiting.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeh, yeh, I'm fine." 

"What happened?"

"Oh, the Russians found us, but Billy killed them," she said, her voice trembling. "He saved my life."

Rick hugged her against him.

"How's Billy?" Michael asked as he headed into the cottage.

"He's better. The fever broke a couple of hours ago, but he's been unconscious."

"Okay, let's get him onto the chopper," Michael ordered as Casey and Rick went in.

He gave her the same grateful look he had left her with only this time, it had a more meaningful expression of appreciation.

"Thanks for taking care of him, for saving his life."

Adele just smiled and nodded.

They got him onto the chopper where all of them could catch the next transport to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in order to stabilize Billy and to make sure he was travel worthy back to the States.

He had regained conscious a few hours after being settled into his room. The doctors praised Adele for administering all the right medications, that her actions probably saved his life. Other than being only slightly dehydrated, a minor miracle in of itself given the conditions, Billy needed rest and to slowly work his way back to solid foods. The doctors wanted to keep an eye on him for a couple of days and if his strength came back enough to walk on his own, they would release him for the flight back home.

Every one had come by to check on him, to make sure that he was all right and though he was tired, he managed to smile and joke about his health crisis. A sure sign he was on the road to recovery.

The members of the ODS had to produce the necessary exit reports on the mission from hell in their view and Adele had reported back to Fay. She then went by Billy's room.

She peeked through the door and she was greeted by a tired yet bright smile from Billy.

"Deputy Director, nice of you to pop by," he said.

Adele smiled.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Getting better and better each day," he said jovially.

"Good to hear."

Billy then gave her a heartfelt and earnest expression.

"I want to thank you for keeping me alive back there. I'm afraid I don't remember very much at all, though they tell me that's natural given the high fever. It might come back, but it might not. I wanted you to know that of what little I do remember, I know that you saved my life and I'll be forever in your debt."

Adele smiled, realizing that he had probably forgotten his deathbed confession and profession of love towards her. One part of her was glad because she didn't want it to ruin the delightful rapport that they had developed towards each other. Another part of her also knew that she would remember the declaration with fondness and would look at him with a deeper affection than she had before. She knew that he would still hold the secret of his affection towards her and she had decided that she would keep it that way as well.

"Something wrong?" He asked noticing her far away expression.

"No, it's just that what I did was nothing compared to how you saved my life. I…I'll never be able to repay…" Adele said, unbidden tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Billy gazed at her and felt an ache in his chest.

"Please, you have nothing to be sorry for and you don't owe me anything. Of the few things I do remember, I would give everything to be able to wipe that memory from ya. I was just glad that I was able to muster the strength to do those scoundrels in. I feared I would fail ya. I took great pleasure in removing their ilk from this plane of existence," Billy said, hoping to reassure her that he would gladly forfeit his life for hers.

Adele wiped her tears and nodded.

"One thing you must promise me though."

"What's that?" She asked.

"You must **never** again bargain your life for mine. I'm not worth it. You are far too important and too valuable both to the Agency and most especially to Rick to be sacrificed, not for someone like me," he said with delicate sternness.

She looked at him, finished wiping her tears then smiled.

"I can't make that promise, Operative Collins. I'm afraid your assessment of your value to the Agency is incorrect and flawed. In my view, as your Deputy Director and I hope also as your friend, I believe you are worth the sacrifice and I would do it again."

Billy had been surprised at her answer. He had expected, at best, a coy non-answer, but instead she had boldly claimed that he was worth sacrificing for, that she would lay down her life for him without a moment's hesitation. It was a declaration that he didn't hear often and it humbled him.

He nodded, speechless. It was a rare occurrence for Billy Collins, to be robbed of the glib patter that came so easily to him especially done in by a woman. He was duly impressed at Adele Ferrar.

"I didn't tell Rick what really happened or what could have happened because I didn't want him to be full of anger."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure," Billy said with a smile, a longing smile that spoke more than the two simple words.

"Well, I'll let you rest. I'll be by later."

"I'll look forward to it."

As she left his room, he heaved a weary sigh. He had remembered his deathbed confession to her and had been grateful that it had not affected their friendship. He knew that she would be forever out of his reach and to his mind, rightfully so, but his heart would be forever hers to command and he knew that anyone else would be a poor substitute for her so he would never demean anyone by pretending that they could hold the same place in his heart.

His heart would be forever held in a special velvet lined box and for as long as she remained in the Agency, he would protect her, defend her against detractors and enemy combatants alike, risk his career and his life for her.

It would be enough to live for her and he would be fulfilled for to live without her would be the one hell he would never be able to endure.

**FIN. Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it.**


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